i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
