Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
