is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
