I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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