apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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