No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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