Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
