Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
