office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
