And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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