just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
