You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
