Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
