You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
