I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
