Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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