You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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