so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
