Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
