you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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