Plan B is the new Plan A
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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