She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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