Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
