a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
