Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
