We won't sleep together?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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