Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
