FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So vagazzling was a success
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
PANTIES FOUND
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