You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
