He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i think i have herpe
just one?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
