i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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