got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
