Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
