Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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