I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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