If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
