i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
