She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
