What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
