You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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