I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
