And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
