You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
