why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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