Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
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