If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
