I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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