i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
