My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
where are you?
Hypothermia
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
