Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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