you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
COCAINE IS GR8
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
