spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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