We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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