This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
