Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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